www.cancermonster.net

Happy Birthday Teresa ,  we love you and miss you.

I want to thank all of you that have sent the cards, made the phone calls, brought the meals and were so supportive, it meant so much to me and the kids.

We are doing fine and the kids are now back in their old school with their friends.  I’m starting to build on my internet business, which brings me to why I’m writing this post.

There are going to be some big changes to this site but retaining all of Teresa’s writings.  What has happened is that a lot more people everyday are finding and visiting Cancermonster due to them searching for something like “Sarcoma Cancer” or “how could we get cancer? and many other search terms, all looking for answers.   If you search on Yahoo for sarcoma cancer you will find Cancermonster.net on the first page right with all the hospitals. this doesn’t happen by accident, I did a little bit of SEO (search engine optimization) and it moved up to the first page.  That is what I do for a living, I get websites to the first page of Google and Yahoo for a search term and lot’s of traffic shows up.

With this skill I have decided to make Cancermonster a vehicle for Teresa to share her insights, her determination and courage for others.  I will categorize some of her best writings into sections, but will always leave  her blog in the time line as it is.  I am also going to write about what I learned through the whole experience and share about dealing with the doctors, insurance and children.

I wished that when all this began and we searched on the internet for “sarcoma cancer” that we would have gotten something more than hospitals and medical jargon.  We would have made different decisions.

With that I have one thing to say to those that have found this site by searching; Welcome,  please subscribe to the site by filling in your email on the right so you can get updates.

One more thing,  if you or someone you know has been diagnosed with Sarcoma, do not stick with your local oncologist and hospital.  You MUST get to one of the Sarcoma Clinics at the major hospitals and have a team of Radiation Oncologist, Chemotherapy Oncologist, Sarcoma Surgeon  and research staff that have clinical trials and meet each week and work as a team!  I can’t stress this enough, I will talk more about this in a future post.

God Bless, Daniel.

Please email me any time if you need to ask a question or just use the comments.

It was beautiful and special. The weather was perfect and surrounded by love ones we scattered Teresa’s ashes on the river she loved so much.

She loved the Siletz River at Coyote Rock in Lincoln City. She kept saying that she wants to go back to her river.

On Saturday the 30th of August at 1:00 pm we will be taking her back to the river she loved by scattering her ashes with loved ones around her.

Check back soon for videos of the ceremonies.

A service for Teresa that will truly be “A Celebration Of Life” will be held on this Sunday the 24th Of August at 2:00pm. All are welcome that knew Teresa and want to share this time with stories about her, music she loved and fellowship with others that cared so much for her. Teresa body may not be there with us but she will be with us in spirit.  The service will be held at the home of Eric and Susie Bell at 5307 SW 34th Place Portland Oregon 97239. That is in the area of Beaverton-Hillsdale Hwy at Dosch Rd. Please bring something to eat, snack or whatever you feel like.

I want you to know that we are mourning the lost of her but celebrating her union with our Lord Jesus Christ. Teresa ashes will be scattered on Saturday the 30th on the Siletz River at Coyote Rock. If you know her or read the blog you know how special this place is to her, all she said is that she wished she could be back at her river, you will honey.

Daniel

Lot’s of loved ones around and Kelli and I right next to her, Teresa passed away at 3:30pm.  I know your in that new body, in his Kingdom now and the Angels are rejoicing.  We love you baby,   Daniel.

I can’t believe that it’s been 430 days, it feels more like thousands. Teresa said to the paramedic when they came to the house “I’m done”. She is such a fighter but she knows that she lost the battle.

Things this morning are the same as yesterday but the doctors said that they don’t think she will improve because she gets no nutrition and has no white blood cells to fight the infection. They tried to see how she did without the ventilator and it didn’t go well. I have just finished talking to the team of doctors and we are going to wait until tomorrow {because of family flying in). Some time tomorrow we are going to remove the ventilator, they will make her comfortable, but they don’t expect her to live very long without it and expect her to pass away within a  couple of hours. I don’t want to drag this out anymore, she has suffered enough. If for some reason she did survive they said she would have no more than a few weeks.

Last night I went home to be with my children and I talked to them one at a time. I told them how she would look with the tubes and all. I told them that there is no wrong choice and if they wanted to go see mom. I explained that this would be a goodbye. Brandi doesn’t want to see her, she made a recording for her and a giant card. Jaymi and Robbie want to see her again, Robbie was very upset when I explained that Mommy was going to die and I had to hold him for a long time. The children are tired to, they told me they are sick of this cancer thing, they have no friends or fun anymore. I’m going to change that.

For those of you that know Teresa and her strong faith, you know that she has no problem knowing where she is going. Jesus at this very moment is holding her and comforting her. In a conversation her and I had a couple of weeks ago she said that she was upset that she is leaving me and the kids and how much we need her. I told her I understand and not to worry because you know how good of a cook you helped make me. That got her to laugh.

Pray for all of us and for Teresa to have peace in her last moments.

God Bless you all.

Daniel

I’m sorry for a bit of a rant on the last post, it’s just so overwhelming.

Teresa’s body is still fighting the infection.  They tried to see if she could breath on her own and she wasn’t ready yet.   They will evaluate each day to see if they can remove the ventilator.  They think there is a chance she might beat this infection, it just takes time for the antibiotics to work.

If thinks get worse the ventilator will be removed while she is still consciouses and we can talk to her, she would be made comfortable and it would take a matter of a few precious hours.

The radiation oncologist said that after the ventilator is off he wants to do radiation a couple of times on a tumor that might cause some complications.  No big efforts to try and destroy the cancer tumors.

Thank you for the emails, comments and prayers.

Daniel

The doctors told me that Teresa does have a bacterial infection that has gotten into her blood stream and caused pneumonia.  The antibiotics are working and she has improved since yesterday.  In a few hours they are going to see if they can take her off the ventilator and let her breath on her own.  I have let them know that if she goes into respiratory arrest that I don’t want them to help her breath again.  If they take her off it and she’s supposed to breath on her own and for some reason she can’t, it’s meant to be.  That is what Teresa would want.

So she could pull through this and come home.  I have to tell you that I’m overwhelmed and feeling quite alone.  My mind is racing from one thing to another.  The Oncologist are talking and this afternoon will help us decide if Teresa should continue any treatment for the cancer.  Children’s hospital is having someone come talk to me about talking to the children.  I need to finish a tile job for my landlord (who are great!) .  I need to move a week from Saturday, and even with that I can’t take Teresa home to our house because of the stairs.   If things don’t go well who do I call for funeral arrangements, who do I pay for that too?  This is to much and maybe I’m writing this to let those know who think I failed Teresa know that I’m tired too and I’ve done what I can for her.  All the decisions I’ve made is in the best interest of her and my children.  I don’t know what else I could have done, I’ve done my best, I guess it wasn’t good enough.

Daniel