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Dan and I are on our way home from Tampa.  We have been to see the east coast wizard at the H. Lee Moffitt Cancer Center.  Dr. W is a funny man.  I like him.  Dan and I pushed him to give some answers that he couldn’t or wouldn’t answer in complete sentences.   We wanted to know when this would be over.  When could we resume life as on a normal scale.  We didn’t get all the answers we wanted, but we did get some ideas.

“Remission” isn’t what I thought it was.  Dr. W explained to us that “Remission” originally  referred to bone marrow returning to a normal condition in Leukemia patients. The term has been applied, erroneously in Dr W’s opinion, to other cancers.  Hmmm.

“I need to know how to pray.  I need the word that means “The Sarcoma is Gone.”

Seems the phrase we are looking for in my case is “Complete Response.”   We want the cancer to have responded to the chemotherapy completely.  Poof.  Be Gone.  And Dan and I were trying to get the good doctor to tell us exactly when that would happen.  Lol   As in “Ah, next Tuesday at 2:18p sharp”

He wouldn’t tell us.  After all he is not God.

Here is what he would tell us . . . I am doing good.  As long as the Chemo is responding, we keep going with it.  As long as my blood counts continue to return to acceptable levels, we keep going with it.   Most people on this medicine have between four and six cycles.  Some have more.  Some have less.  After every two cycles we do the scans.  If there is any growth, we stop and try something else because the name of this game is “Response.”

“If after six treatments there are still spots, can we just go in and take them out? At what point do we consider surgery?”  Dan asked the question on my note pad.
“That would depend on how many there are.  And the right surgeon.”
“Is there a surgeon here that could do it?”  Visions of Dr House danced in my head.
“Ah. . .Yes. . . .Keep in mind, one or two spots, we could take out.  But you have to understand, we can not just go into the chest and start berry picking.”

“Yes I understand.”   Ok, let’s take this in another direction here. . . “What if, after this fourth cycle, we take a look and there is no spots left?”  I leaned in and asked.

“If after four cycles there are no spots left . . . I would recommend that we do two more cycles and then be done.”

“That’s what I thought you would say.”

It makes sense.  As long as I am tolerating the treatments, we should play it out.  Get every last cell.  As much as I hate being away from my home and my family. . . As much as I hate being in the hospital . . . As much as I hate the chemo and how it makes me feel. . . I have to agree that even if the scan is spotless, we need to do the last two treatments.    (I like saying that  . . .“the scan is spotless” . . .)

Then we talked about the next chemo.  We are starting on Sunday (as planned).   I told my family that I want to do this one alone.  I am doing fine.  I don’t need someone to stay with me this time.   It took some convincing, but Dan finally agreed.  I also convinced him that the kids should come along on Sunday.  Since Dan is not staying over, the kids can finally see where mom goes every three weeks.  They have never been to Moffitt.  Sundays are very quiet up there.  They can get a tour and see me to my room.  It takes a couple hours after I check in before the chemo is ready anyway.  They won’t have to see me hooked up to anything.  (Brandi has a hard time with IV’s.)  It will be a long ride up and back for them, but they have been asking to see the hospital . . .
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I was sitting in the doctors office listing to medical mumbo . . .  “Chemo cycles, and berry picking surgeons” . . .

And then I was sitting in the car listening to God  . . . “I am the Lord, who heals you.”  Exodus 15:26

I like God’s message better.  Go God!

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I will be praying for my “Complete Response.”   You see, I like Dr W.  I would love to bless him with a nice write up in the medical journal of his choice.

It’s a Win-Win situation, right?