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Another week has gone by and I am still hovering over my life in this holding pattern. It’s taking too long. I want it over with. I am not naive enough to think that it will be over with just because I say so, mind you. But if you have been following this story from the beginning, you know this about me: I don’t sit still well. I am going stark raving mad.

As I approach the sixth sarcoma chemo treatment, I don’t know what comes next and that is driving me crazy. We have asked Dr. W to give us some idea of what can happened if there are still mets in my lungs after this treatment and he continues to tell us to wait and see what happens. I don’t think he knows what to do next. I think he has brought me along farther than he expected (with a better outcome) and he doesn’t know what can be done next. Although Dr. W is a fine physician and has dedicated his life to Thoracic Oncology, he is not a specialist in Sarcoma. We need a Sarcoma team.

Research has brought University of Washington at Seattle to our attention. According to US News & World Report, UW is #6 in the country for cancer treatment. They have a well established Sarcoma team that’s doing breakthrough treatments for over 500 sarcoma patients a year. I want to be one of that number (if I have to be apart of any of this).  We are working on that.

And we will be able to go home to the Northwest.

We want to go home.

At the risk of disappointing everyone I know and love here in Florida, Dan and I found out that we are no longer Floridians. My kids are definitely not Floridians. It is only March, and we are too hot. It is too flat. And the palm trees just don’t compensate for the forest. We have not adjusted. We are like fish out of water. We don’t know how we will get home, just that we need to get there.

None of which is important.

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I slept a bit today. Right on schedule, the tenth day after chemo I am the most tired. I wish there was a home test for blood counts. As it is the only way for me to tell if they are down is how I feel. It will last a couple days and adjust on it’s own.

I have another week until my appointment with Dr. W and then we have to fit the next (last?) treatment in before Easter, I pray. I really don’t want to be in the hospital for Easter.

At least I will be home for my birthday. This Sunday. 3-16. Jaymi thinks it’s pretty cool that my birthday is 3-16. Just like John 3:16- which she learned in church and has memorized. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

I will be 42 years old on Sunday. My gramma Nora never quibbled about birthdays. She said having a birthday is better than the alternative. She had a lot of birthdays. I will never quibble over birthdays again. Besides, I am WAY younger than my sisters! Hehe

In fact, 42 is a very good number. Yah, it’s a great number! 42.

I’ll take it.