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Here I am!  Were you looking for me?

Things are good.  Met with Dr. R today and signed some papers enrolling me into a clinical trial for a promising new drug with no name.  We’ll call it “Lovely” chemo since the letters and numbers that make up it’s scientific designation look kinda’ like “Lovely.”  And besides, that’s what I said, “More Chemo, Lovely.”

No really, compared to the chemo regimen that I just finished, this one should be easy.  Two hours in a chair every three weeks instead of four days in a hospital room.  This drug has been engineered with sarcoma in mind.  I just wonder how strong it is, being that it is delivered in two hours. I remember what the Ifosfamide did to me delivered in a short time. . .  But I will be able to go home after the treatment. That’s a fine point.  I start sometime next week.  I’ll let you know…

“We would like nothing better than to have you get a fantastic write up in a medical journal when they all disappear.”  Dr. R chuckled and probably wrote in my file that I was in denial just as the last doctor proclaimed in his records.  He would have written a book in there if he knew what I was really thinking.  “It’s too bad that the results will be skewed when God heals me.  They will take the credit when all the credit belongs to my Lord.” 

If faith = denial, then so be it.  My faith has carried me this far.  I will not abandon it now.  Call me a Zealot.  I believe in Divine Healing.  I know that God is healing me now.  What I don’t know is how people can go through what I have gone through without faith. 

“Faith doesn’t work if you have it.  Faith only works if you work it!”  Rev. TD Jakes

I AM WORKING IT, BABY!

Speaking of faith… On faith, we stayed here at Kelli’s believing that we would be able to take over their lease when they move out in three weeks.  We were given a no answer from the owners at first.  We prayed.  They changed their mind.  We have now until the end of July to find the place we want to live.  

And Dan has something very good in the works.  I won’t talk about it now, but say a prayer for him that we are blessed tomorrow and things go his way. 

The fella at the disability office worked overtime to transfer my case from Florida to Oregon as fast as possible.  (Thank you, thank you and I take everything I ever said about government workers back.)  And we had a wonderful gift today from the Sarcoma Foundation — thanks to a dear friend who stepped up on our behalf.  Thank you, Darlin!  She lives down there at my old river park.  Oh, how I wish was right there, right now.  I can see that river and that tree up there on the hill.  Remember the survivor tree? 

One tree standing in memorial to it’s fellows.  That’s still me.

All that glitters is not gold, however.   Last night I was laying in bed watching TV and playing a game on this old laptop.  I had the laptop sitting on my chest — I am sure laptop owners everywhere have, at one time or another, done the same thing.  I, however, shouldn’t have done it with this laptop.  You see, the cooling fan inside my little friend here, is going out.  It tends to get pretty hot.  Adding to this is the fact that I had just taken my pain medication (and I guess said pain medication works better than I thought.)  All of a sudden I jumped, almost knocking the computer to the floor.  You’re not even going to believe it, but the laptop burned my skin through my nightshirt!  Guess which part of me was under the nightshirt?!  Yup, now my left boob matches my left butt cheek!  Burnt to a crisp!  I am not exaggerating.  I really should have asked the doctor to look at it this morning, but I was too embarrassed.  Imagine, “Ah, while your looking at my butt cheek, could you take a look at my boob?”  No, I think I will nurse (no pun intended) this wound all on my own.  Yup, just as my daddy always said, “When your gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.” 

I am the toughest old broad I know.

And that has made all the difference.