www.cancermonster.net

I’m sorry for a bit of a rant on the last post, it’s just so overwhelming.

Teresa’s body is still fighting the infection.  They tried to see if she could breath on her own and she wasn’t ready yet.   They will evaluate each day to see if they can remove the ventilator.  They think there is a chance she might beat this infection, it just takes time for the antibiotics to work.

If thinks get worse the ventilator will be removed while she is still consciouses and we can talk to her, she would be made comfortable and it would take a matter of a few precious hours.

The radiation oncologist said that after the ventilator is off he wants to do radiation a couple of times on a tumor that might cause some complications.  No big efforts to try and destroy the cancer tumors.

Thank you for the emails, comments and prayers.

Daniel

The doctors told me that Teresa does have a bacterial infection that has gotten into her blood stream and caused pneumonia.  The antibiotics are working and she has improved since yesterday.  In a few hours they are going to see if they can take her off the ventilator and let her breath on her own.  I have let them know that if she goes into respiratory arrest that I don’t want them to help her breath again.  If they take her off it and she’s supposed to breath on her own and for some reason she can’t, it’s meant to be.  That is what Teresa would want.

So she could pull through this and come home.  I have to tell you that I’m overwhelmed and feeling quite alone.  My mind is racing from one thing to another.  The Oncologist are talking and this afternoon will help us decide if Teresa should continue any treatment for the cancer.  Children’s hospital is having someone come talk to me about talking to the children.  I need to finish a tile job for my landlord (who are great!) .  I need to move a week from Saturday, and even with that I can’t take Teresa home to our house because of the stairs.   If things don’t go well who do I call for funeral arrangements, who do I pay for that too?  This is to much and maybe I’m writing this to let those know who think I failed Teresa know that I’m tired too and I’ve done what I can for her.  All the decisions I’ve made is in the best interest of her and my children.  I don’t know what else I could have done, I’ve done my best, I guess it wasn’t good enough.

Daniel