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11:00p

Well, we are taking off in the morning.  First thing is the tire store and then we are down the highway.  This is tougher than I thought it would be. Yesterday morning, Denny and Leenie threw us a Brunch.  The whole Portland family showed up to wish us well.  It was a brisk sunny Sunday.  We took pictures out in the back yard.  Everyone.  Then each family.  All the cousins.  It was nice.  I changed my mind about leaving here several times.  This is hard.  Very, very Hard.

Tonight, Kelli and Tim came over for dinner.  Eventually, there came a moment where we all realized that time was drawing short.  I found Kelli with Brandi and Jaymi on the couch and slid in besides her.  She is not quite 19.  Still my little girl.  Children are supposed to grow up and move away from their parents. Mommas are not supposed to move away from their children.  We held each other and cried.  I love her so much.  I am proud of the way she turned out so far.  Lol   I want her to be happy.   And better off than me.

Then my heart broke as I watched the siblings holding on to each other.  This is all my fault.  I had to get sick.  I still don’t know how that happened.

I changed my mind again.  I am sorry to admit that I don’t want to go to Florida.  Not like this. I want to see my family again, but when I get there, “they” will pump my body full of poison.  I will be very sick.  I won’t be able to care for my own children.  Who would look forward to that?

I don’t think this is working for me anymore.  I think I might quit now.  I don’t think I will have cancer anymore. I already gave my butt for the cause.  Isn’t that enough?

aww. . .Don’t pay me any mind.  Once we get on the road, I will be fine again. It will be an adventure!  Ya, That’s the ticket!  I have never been to California.  And I have never been through the desert.   And Texas.  I always wanted to see Texas.   It will be an adventure for sure.  I pray that this old motorhome makes it across!  lol

I’m keeping it short tonight.  I just wanted to let you know that we will be shoving off in the AM.

Keep us in your prayers.  I will be checking in as often as I can.

Love to all,
t