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Day 169- Saturday, December 1st, 2007

December 1^st.   How did that happen?

It was just June and I was just finding out that the bump on my butt wasn’t a splinter gone wild as I was lead to believe. June, July, August and I was finally getting radiation for the rare fluke of a sarcoma. September, October 8^th and IT was both gone and there again. Spread. October, November and my family is racing cross country on a wing and a prayer. Chemo. Weight loss. Brain Games.

Too fast.

 Today, we put up a beautiful Christmas tree. Santa’s elves delivered this tree yesterday, complete with all the decorations needed to make it sparkle. I was too tired to stay awake last night, so the family waited until this afternoon to put it together. This tree is special, because it was given with love to a family who needed some sparkle in their lives.

This tree looks so pretty all lit up! I couldn’t get a picture that would show just how beautiful it really is.

There are families like ours everywhere, by the way. Only these families may not be spelling their problems out on the internet. There are families who’s Christmas will not be the same this year for some reason. For any reason. There are hidden families with hidden children not on anyone’s list. From the outside, these families look average, middle class, who knows, they may even look like they have it all wrapped up.

Some wonderful people found out about us and brought us the most beautiful tree and trimmings. Poke around your town and find a hidden family.

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This evening the five of us watched a Christmas movie on Hallmark. I don’t remember when we all sat together to watch a show. Brandi kept telling us how much she liked being together. How much she liked the lights on the tree. “Now we need a pine flavored candle!”

Just a “Pine flavored candle” and everything will be all right.

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Day 170- Sunday, December 02, 2007

This morning we visited a church down the street. “Auditioned a church” might be more like what we did this morning. At least that is what we told ourselves we were doing.

God sent us to this church down the street.

Ya, that’s more like it.

Have you ever been “sent to a church”? This happened only once before for us. We had recently moved to Cody, Wyoming and had been checking out the churches in town, looking for the right one. The clerk at Walmart casually asked, “Have you found the church yet?”

“Huh?” I jumped. The clerk was a young lady, but she was speaking for the Lord.

“The Church. You are looking for a church right?”

“Yes, we are.”

“Our church is fantastic. We have an awesome worship team. Music is very important in our church. Sunday service is at 10:00. We sing until eleven or eleven thirty . . . whenever.” She gave us directions and we were on our way. We walked out of Walmart in a daze. When you get directions from God via a grocery store clerk, you have to pay attention. We went to that church the very next Sunday. And stayed until we learned what God wanted to teach us.

Walking into this church this morning was a little different. It’s down street. We saw it ourselves. An Assembly of God Church. Smallish. Dan stopped in a few days ago and spoke with a few members. We didn’t know that we had been “set up” for this very church on this very day.

Walking in, I had never felt so self conscious. I wore a mask. So many new people, Dan and I felt I needed to be careful. I promised Dan that I would wear the mask and not shake anyone’s hand. And I carried the hand sanitizer in my purse. I kept one hand on Dan’s arm and the other on my cane. Still, it was hard not to shake hands. People who were clearly set to shaking hands with new people had a hard time as well.

 

What do you do when coming across someone wearing a mask? Do you ignore their precautions and touch them anyway or do you ignore them all together? Or do you greet them as you would anyone else –just without a hand shake? Now that I have been the person in the mask, I will never again stumble over what to do.

The children went to Kid’s Church and Dan and I settled in near the back of the sanctuary. The music started and church filled with the spirit of God. It was as if a ship set loose from the dock and its sails filled with a warm wind. The ship set a course for salvation. This was no dead church. The Lord said to make a joyful noise. And it was made.

Rock on.

If you have never been to a Charismatic Pentecostal Church . . . do what you can to check one out.

Then came the alter call for prayer. Mask or no mask, I was going up there. Dan held my arm and we went forward. The Pastor saw us coming and motioned us to him.

“I know that you are recovering from Chemo, but could I anoint you.”

“Please. Absolutely.”

And he began to pray. He called others to lay hands on Dan who was holding me. And he prayed. He called for the Lord to strike the cancer cells and he prayed for a miracle. He told me that I was not done with my life. I had a testimony. I had more work to do.

I have been prayed over many times in the past seven years. Today I felt the Lord embrace me. I pulled off the mask and I wrapped my arms around the Pastor. I won’t need to wear a mask in that church again. God wouldn’t send me to a church where I was not protected.

I know that will be hard for some people who love me to understand. For their benefit, I won’t volunteer for the kissing booth at the church bazaar. How’bout’dat? But I won’t hide my face in that church again. When the Lord looks down on that church, I want him to see my face looking back up to him. Lol

The Pastor’s sermon was about Christmas and what it is and isn’t about. It’s not about the tree, the shopping, the parties or the presents. It’s not about you. It’s about others. And it’s about Christ.

Hmmmm. Go figure.

It was around one when we got back home. All that singing and dancing and praying tired me out. While Dan took the clothes to the laundro-mat, I had a long nap.

Prayer. Prayer is going to get us through this. The Chemo will work better and be less toxic with prayer. Please keep praying. I have way too much to do.

I have a slow schedule this week. Just Thursday. Labs at 2:30 and Dr.W at 3:30 to set the plans for the next round of Chemo that will most likely start December 10^th or 11^th. This will be the first “normal” week since we arrived here in Florida. The kids in school everyday and Dan at work.

And me here at home. Hmmm how’bout’dat?

Oh and by the way:

Please pray this week for my blood counts to come up so I can stay awake! What’s the use of being home alone if you’re asleep the whole time!

Gotta Love Me! It’s a rule!