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It’s fitting that today would be Day 199. . .

Happy New Years!  I can’t believe it’s New Years Eve.  It was just New Years  . . . Ah . . . Yesterday it seems.   This year has gone by so fast.  What a weird year.  If you had told me last New Year Eve that I would be bald and living in Florida . . . I would have laughed.   Yah, right.

It just wasn’t in my plans.   Turns out I had the wrong plan.

We can make plans and we can work out every detail of the plan to the letter.  And that plan, no matter how carefully crafted, may fall by the wayside.  We shrug our shoulders and say, “What the heck happened?”

What happened was that you made your plans without God.

God is the scheduler. He makes the plans and sets the timeline.  He gives the orders.   Now, you have FREE WILL to say, “You know, I don’t think that will work out for me, but . . . Thanks for the offer, God.  I think I will run with my own plan . . . I have it all figured out, you know.   You could just go ahead and put your stamp on MY plan, and then we will ALL be happy.”

You have the FREE WILL to disregard God’s plan for you.  Just as you have the FREE WILL to believe in God in the first place.  Think about it long and hard, though.  Just as there is no such thing as a free lunch, your FREE WILL comes at a price.

See, your plan is crap.   Hahah  If you run with your plan your going to be disappointed.

Now, I am not saying that it was God’s plan that I get a rare cancer in my tush.  There is an adversary in the world that infects believers with doubts by infecting us with troubles we then blame on God.  God does, however, use Lucifer’s machinations to bless and teach us.  All things work together for good to those who love God. (Romans 8:28)

So, how do we make plans for a new year?  Pray.

What about Resolutions? New Years Resolutions.

My Number ONE New Years Resolution is to make another New Years Resolution next year.  That is a given.

I also resolve to finish the book I have half written.  I am going to finally read the Bible through in one year.  (I am going to use http://www.oneyearbibleonline.com/  Each day’s entry is a 15-minute reading consists of a passage from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs.  Nice site.)  I am going exercise.  (Since I was far from thin when I started losing weight from the Chemo, I don’t look emancipated now.  But I have lost forty pounds in about three months.  Now I need to get some muscle back and firm up the empty skin.)

And I resolve to “Pay-it-Forward.”    I want to make a difference in someone else’s life.  We have been so blessed by so many people that I have to figure out how to repay a debt to a collection of people that spans across country.   How do you repay such a debt?   You find someone else who needs the same help and give it to them.  That is my resolution for the new year.  That is my resolution for the rest of my life.

See that’s my point.  I RESOLVE to continue to resolve.  I will continue to live my life.  I refuse to paint “Cancer Patient” on my forehead and sit and wait.   I have things to do, places to be, children to raise. And I have GOD’S PLAN to carry out.

I have faith. And my faith keeps me calm.  Some are worried that if I rely on my faith, it means that I will not do everything I can medically to rid myself of this cancer. Not.  If, on next Thursday, I am told that we need to change the direction of my treatment, then we will. If they tell me I have to have the Ifosfamide again, I will.  Even though I really, really don’t want to do it again.  If they tell me that I need to stand on my head everyday from 2:00-3:45, I will.  I will.  This is all part of my testimony.   I wish I didn’t have to do any of it.   I wish I didn’t have cancer, that my children didn’t know what radiation or chemotherapy was.

I DON’T WANT TO HAVE CANCER. But I do.