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I am here at Moffitt, ready and waiting for my 4th round of Chemo to begin. Dan and the kids just left. I am here alone. That’s not true. I am here with my God. The Holy Spirit and I will keep good company.

I thought since I will have all these thoughts in my head and no one but the nursing staff to share them with this time, I would share them with you. And because I haven’t been writing much lately, I think you will get a kick out of it. So, I will try to keep a running tab on what it’s like to be me having chemo. Remember, this is not the chemo that most people get, I will be here until Thursday morning. The chemo will be dripping the entire time. I will try to post each night. Please be patient for the posts and keep praying for me.

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Dan didn’t want to leave me here alone. But since he had the kids with him, he had no choice. Before I checked in, we gave the kids a tour of the hospital. We took them through both the hospital lobby and the clinic building lobby. The clinic building is empty at 4:00p on a Sunday. I showed them where I have my lab work done, and where the art studio is. I showed them my doctor’s clinic office and the cafeteria. Then I checked in and we went back to the car for my things. I bring a lot of things. We use a wheel chair as a bell cart! Then we all trekked up to the fourth floor to my room. I was disappointed to be assigned to the fourth floor, to tell you the truth. The fourth floor is where the hematology patients stay. These are people with blood cancers.

Hold that thought. I am going to go down to the cafeteria to get some dinner before they start my chemo. BRB

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Ok, I’m back. Since I was not on the food service list for tonight’s dinner, they gave me a food card to go to the cafeteria for dinner. I had a salad. One thing that I figured out over the weeks is that cooked food smells really bad when your taking chemo. Just the smell of hospital food can cause me to throw up. So I made myself a rule. No cooked food in the room. Period. I eat sandwiches and salads fresh fruits and cold foods. I bring food with me from home that I know I can eat. One thing that works for protein is beef jerky! I can eat that.

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I just spent some time answering questions for my nurse. I always think the answers to the questions they ask me should be in my file already. But I answer them just the same. It’s 6:45p and they haven’t started the chemo yet. V, my nurse for fifteen more minutes said they would start it on next shift maybe 8:00 or 9:00. No no people, you don’t seem to understand, I get three 24hr bags of both chemotherapies and then 12 hours more of Mesna (a medication that is served up with the Ifosfamide to protect my bladder) and fluids. That takes me to Thursday morning. My sister, Pam is coming up Wednesday night to spend the night so that we can get out of here early Thursday morning. EARLY! When the last drop of the Mesna falls I want OUT OF HERE! Lol. But I wanted it done by 7:00am! Not 8 or 9:00am.

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It’s 7:30 and I haven’t gotten my chemo yet. I just decorated my Chemo Cart. Lol I hang beads and do-dads and stuff animals from the IV cart so that when I look at it, I see this collection of colorful funny stuff before I see the bags of poison and I smile. And most other people who see it smile too. I got caught in the process by my new nurse. I don’t know if she just was surprised or if she didn’t like it. But it’s staying. Whatever it takes to get me through this in better shape than everyone else . . .

I didn’t finish telling you why I like the 5th floor better than the 4th floor. The first time I was here for chemo– when things didn’t go so well, I was here on the 4th floor. Since then I was on the 5th floor. I got used to the staff up there. I was looking forward to having the same people again. (Most of them lol) There is one nursing assistant -they call them techs here, that is waiting on her nursing license. She was a nurse in Germany . . . I was looking forward to seeing her again. There are several people up there I was looking forward to seeing again.

When we got home from church this afternoon, I called up here to check on my room. When I heard that I was not on the 5th floor, I let it bother me. I called back and asked to be changed. I let the room assignment be the excuse to start freaking out over having to come here at all. “The devil is messing with me. I am supposed to be on the 5th floor!” You see, during our worship service this morning, God revealed to me that people are watching me here at the hospital to see how a Christian handles chemo. The nurses see that I am doing better than I am supposed to be doing on this protocol. They see the scriptures I have hanging on the walls. I don’t have to preach to them. They are watching me. I expected the staff that was watching me this time, to be the same ones as last time. I guess God had other plans.

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8:00p
It is kinda quiet here by myself. Still no chemo.

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9:15p
Finally! The Chemo is dripping. Nearly five hours after I checked in, I finally get the chemo. I don’t like to be here one moment longer than I have to. I thought we timed it better than last time. Last cycle Dan and I checked in in the morning so that we could see my doctor, who was on rounds for the weekend, at check in. That made me have to stay ten hours longer than needed because I finished up too late to drive home. I thought that checking in at 4:30p today, would have me done by 6:30a on Thursday. But I forgot to figure in the dreaded shift change. No one - not the nursing staff, nor the pharmacy staff wanted to have chemo bag changes coinciding with shift change! Oh, well. By the time I get the perfect time to check in down, it will all be over.

All be over. Sounds nice.

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10:00p
It’s getting late. The staff here on good old floor four have been very nice. Just about everyone here at Moffitt loves their work and who they work for. I know because I always ask them. You can tell when someone is telling you the truth when they say they love their job. People like working here. When the staff is being treated well, they treat the patients well too. They care about the care they give. It makes a difference.

I am going to turn down the lights and get comfortable now. No matter how much the nurses care, they still don’t let you sleep very much in a hospital. I’ll let you know tomorrow, how the night goes.

Tomorrow’s another day.