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I am at Moffitt for my 6^th and last treatment here. I didn’t write yesterday because there was no internet in my first room. This morning, just before he went home to the kids who spent the night at gramma’s, Dan helped me move into another room. There is no way I would make it to Friday without the net.

Dan and I came up yesterday for my pre-chemo lab test and doctor visit and were able to get a bed and get this over with. It was very late when I was finally able to check in, so Dan stayed over too, instead of leaving me in the lobby with all my stuff. The thought of sitting in the lobby with my pile of things reminded me of the time I had to sit in the lobby with the kids and our baggage when our motorhome was getting fixed back in New Mexico on the way to Florida. What a trip that was! Not even half way from Portland, we broke down, you remember. We will not be going back the same route.

We are going home to the Pacific Northwest soon. There are many reasons why we are going home now. The main reason is that it’s time to go. Everything that God is doing for us now is in preparation for the trip back. The cancer people up in Seattle have been very helpful. We signed the forms yesterday to have my records transferred to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA)- partners with University of Washington Medical Center. They are doing cutting edge work in the Sarcoma Service there. I will be in good hands once again. Because each facility wants their own pictures done, Dr, W recommends having the next set of scans done in Seattle. That’s kind of unnerving for me - not knowing how this last run of chemo did before checking into the next stage of recovery, but I see the logic of it.

We will fly into PDX and stay with Denny and Leenie in Portland at first. Seattle is a couple hours north. When we find a place to rent, we will get our belongings from storage and cart them up. We talked with a social worker yesterday who says that there are funds available to help us get settled in Seattle. Praise God. We have also looked into work and the options are varied. There is more work to be done up there than they have workers to do it. Praise God twice over. I am looking forward to seeing the first sights of spring in the Pacific Northwest. It is spectacular. And very, very different from spring in Florida.

That is the next reason it is time to go. We are homesick. I am sure you have been able to read between the lines –or lack of lines — that we (not just me) are not happy here in Florida. It’s not the care that we have been shown; because we have had love poured on us left and right. It’s just that we are not home. And we left one of us out of this trip. You see, we believe that our family - Dan and I and the four children - were hand picked by God to be a unit. Living 3,000 miles from Kelli is unacceptable to us. We knew it would be hard, but had no idea it would be this hard. The two hours from Portland to Seattle will be enough. Close enough to have weekends and holidays together.

And another reason to go home now is that we feel that God is directing us there. We have turned our lives to him. It is his plan. Our plans don’t turn out so good, see. We have made a lot of mistakes in our past and even now, when we try to control things, things go awry. So when this happens we just turn back to his reign and let God’s plan play out. And the more God’s plan plays out, the more the devil fights to keep the plan from coming to pass. I won’t say that I am under attack, but there are those in my life that are being used by the adversary to cause havoc in my world down here. Even though I should know better, I let it get to me. I am sad to say that I spent the last week in bed, in pain, and very discouraged.

I could use your prayers.

The words that we allow to pass through our ears, whether they are coming from others or from our own mouth, can build us up or tear us down. We need to measure each word we say to ourselves and to others and assume that what you say can be like prophesy. Only say what you want to happen. All this “Oh, they didn’t mean what they said.” Well, don’t say it then. Children don’t know how to stop themselves from saying the wrong things at the wrong time, but Adults should be able to control themselves better.

Sometimes we have to remove ourselves from people that are negative — no matter how much we love them. Especially if we are fighting for our very life. Then, once you have taken a step back, you must replace the negative words with positive Words from the Bible that build you back up again. Don’t let anyone take your Blessings from you. Don’t let the devil work his way into your recovery no matter what it is that you are recovering from.

And everyone is recovering from something.

In the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, I demand that Satan get away from me, my husband and my children. I take authority over my home and family and away from the fallen one. He has no rights to my mind or my body. I will follow my God’s plan for my life no matter how hard anyone tries to change them.

I have learned a valuable first hand lesson this past week, though. I learn how a negative attitude effects your physical well-being. Up to this week, I have been as up beat and positive as one in my place could be. And look how far I have come in my recovery. Yet, spend some time in a pit and see what it will do for you. I can say with experience that you must maintain a positive attitude and surround yourself only with positive people to gain positively. “You are what you eat” should be expanded to “You are what you eat, hear, speak, and believe.”

And that’s all I am going to say about that.

No. It’s not all I am going to say.

Could you please take a look around and see that you probably don’t have it as bad as you think you do. Stop fighting each other and fight for each other. I may have Cancer, but I am the luckiest person in the world. I have a loving husband and four beautiful children and I have faith in my Lord who takes care of me. What more can anyone ask for? I don’t have anything more than that. But it’s all I need. Everything else is Bonus Blessings.

Most of you have more than me.

And some of you want what I have.

Go figure.