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I was just talking to the sweet lady next door.  She and her husband had been looking for a piece of property, but they changed their mind.  They are moving from their older motorhome like ours into a brand new coach instead.  Thirty-nine footer with pop-outs.  I am so happy for them.  I’m a bit envious.  But. . . not overly much.  That big rig comes with a big payment.  We’ve made our motorhome work for us. Not that six more feet and a wide body wouldn’t come in handy.  We are making every inch of our 33′ x 8′ count.  We almost have a place for everything now.  The garbage can is a problem still.  And the printer doesn’t have a great home yet.  But it works for us.  Had we not been such new-bees we would have saw through the claim that all the leaks had been fixed.  All the leaks have not been fixed.  The leak in the wall next to my bed has not been fixed.

We need all new tires and a tune up.  And all new latches on the cabinets.  New walls inside and a new skin on the outside.  Haha.  Nothing like the neighbors getting a new coach to point out all the flaws in our own.

But it’s home.  I didn’t expect to love this life style as much as I do.  Like I said before, there is a freedom to living in an RV.   We came close to buying a 40′ bus conversion. Ten feet wide and seven feet longer than this one though, was a scary thought to drive when you are first learning how.  I wish we had done it now.  It was cheaper than this one and had not been fully remodeled yet.  Maybe we will go that route next time.

We may have to rent an apartment for a while.  Because of me.  That stinks.  But I hate to be told I can’t do something.  So I’ll figure out how to make this work. Besides, it will cost us more to live in  an apartment.

Hope for the best and prepare for the worse.

If it were just Dan and I to plan for it would be easier.  The kids have to be enrolled in school in September somewhere.  I homeschooled them the last six weeks of the last term, but I won’t be able to do that this fall.  And as soon as I can leave the doctors here, I want to continue on south. The main reason we planned to move south was my Fibromyalgia.  It’s just too damp here in Oregon and in the winter it’s dark.  Sometimes it doesn’t stop raining for days or even weeks in the winter.  There is not as much snow here as one might think.  Snow I can handle.  It’s the dark rain that gets into my bones and makes me ache.

Speaking of sunshine, the sun just made its first  appearance of the day.  It drizzled all night.  Summer rains are nice though.  They wash the air and your attitude at the same time.  My attitude needed a wash too.

Anita just called me.  I thank the Lord for my big sister.  She is a pillar of strength for me now.  She also has Fibromyalgia and lives between her motorhome and her park model.  They have been living this lifestyle for more than twenty years.   Sometimes with a house to return to and sometimes not.  If the doctors decide to operate right away, she and her husband will start the drive out here from Florida.  As much as I want her here, I feel guilty for that too.  This was not in their plans either.  It will be at considerable cost to them to come out here.

I feel guilty for getting cancer.

There is no one to blame, not even myself for this cancer.  The cause is unknown to the experts.  I know this, but it doesn’t dissuade my feeling of guilt.  If it were Anita’s cancer, I would be there as fast as my legs could travel.   I would.  And she knows it.   It would drive her crazy not being here.  If she is gonna be driven somewhere it might as well be to Oregon.

I have spent the last few hours doing research on Sarcoma treatment online.  What a wonderful advancement the internet is.  I wonder if the doctors agree though.  Patients like myself are able to do their own homework, not just trusting the word of their doctor.  I have found that the main course of action for sarcoma treatment in the past was amputation.  With the advancement of medical technology, that extreme “removal at all cost” methodology can be a last resort instead of a first step. I am going to hang on to that thought until someone tells me otherwise.

Tomorrow someone is going to tell me something!  I tell you.  I will make sure of it.

Tomorrow is my appointment with Dr H and the sarcoma team at OHSU.

Tomorrow I want an invitation to SOME kind of party.