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I am home. Hehehehe Wheew, I tell you what, I never thought I would make it back here. Truly. But here I am, never the less. God had a different plan. Here with my family around me- Dan and Mom, the siblings and the children is such a wonderful feeling.

Wish you were here.

I got home last night, but I didn’t have a chance to let you know. I came home with a beautiful pot of miniature roses that arrived just in time from Arizona! (Thank you Cousin Sherry and Lyle.) I didn’t come home with oxygen! I was tested before I left and I got a 97! I didn’t even study for the test. Go figure.

My sisters and brother showed up in the hospital as I was doing my exit papers. So I brought them along home, too. It was the least I could do being that they flew all the way from Florida and I didn’t even . . . Well anyway, “Hail Hail, the Gangs all Here!” We climbed into our PJ’s early. I got used to being in pajamas in the hospital and the rest of the gang is from the eastern time zone and it was bed time already for them. After a short nap, I had the pleasure of Kelli and Tim’s company and Eric too.

Eric brought me the most exquisite flower I’ve ever had. An Orchid! Phalaenopsis, or the Moth Orchid is supposedly the easiest for beginners. So delicate it scares me! So beautiful that I don’t deserve it. I love it.

This beautiful Orchid reminds me of the Grace my Lord has for me — and for you, too. You don’t deserve it. You have no way of knowing what to do with the Grace you have been given, yet He gives it. Because … He loves you. You can’t earn it. It’s just a gift.

Just like the extra time that I have been given. It’s a gift from my God. I had to explain that to Brandi this afternoon. (I have to catch the other two little ones alone as well.)

“Brandi, I am so happy to have this time with you. As long as it may be, I want to love on you.”

“What do you mean? ‘as long as it may be.”

“I mean that God let me come home, but I really don’t know for how long. It could be a day or a week. A month or more? I don’t know.”

“You mean you could still die?”

“Yes, honey. That’s what I mean.”

I went on to tell her that it was all in God’s hands and that I pray that I can stay a while, but it wouldn’t be as long as we all wanted. She may be just ten, but she is a literal person. Say what you mean and don’t hedge around it. She asked if it meant that she had to be the big girl in the house and maybe if Daddy couldn’t cook dinner, she would have to do it for him. She would get a cookbook, she said. I told her that I wished it was another way. That I wanted to raise her and know her babies.

“You will know my babies, mom. We’ll all be together again real soon.”

“You’re right, Brand. If fact, I will see your babies before you do! I will say, “Come here you little Spirit! I’m your gramma!”

She laughed at the thought of me chasing around her little babies in heaven. So did I.

I hate to do this, but I think I have a responsibility to tell them that I may be home, but…

Don’t get me wrong. I have not given up my fight. It goes on and on. This just has to be done for them.

“Mom, have you talked to the other children about this yet?”

“Not yet. So this is just between us for now.”

“I am a big girl, mom, but Robbie is just a little boy. You probably need to tell him. He thinks your “Home” you know.”

“I know honey and I will.”

I will. Soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My nephew, Joe - Pam’s son, is here from Seattle for a visit. He brought along his ten month old baby boy. The kids haven’t stopped following the baby around. They love babies.

Dan is just back from the grocery store. Everyone is helping bring in the food. Mom is making a tuna noodle casserole and a big salad for dinner.

Everything is normal, see.

Only it’s not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just had a nap. (Kinda, hehe) I laid in the bed and rested while I talked, first with Anita and then with Kelli. I got my second wind. Now I am ready for LOST tonight!! I love LOST. You’re not going to believe this, but when I was dieing, I was thinking about all the things that I would miss.

I kept coming back to this: “Man, I really wanted to see how LOST turned out.”

hahhhhaaaaahahaaaaaaa. Go figure.

Dinner’s ready. Talk to you tomorrow.