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It’s been a peaceful day. As apposed to the night. Nothing major there except that I can’t seem to sleep in my room at night. I even took the sleeping pill at midnight. By 4:00am, I had had enough. Every half hour I was sitting on the edge of my bed rubbing the ice cold cloth over my neck and head, bobbing awake ten minutes later just to try to lay all the way down and do it all over again. By 4:00am, I had decided to get up and go downstairs. I had to collect my things on my computer tray and figure out if I could get it downstairs by myself without tripping. Then I started laying out my morning medications and ended up waking Dan beyond the one-eyed stare. I had to explain to him why I had to fly the coop. “I can sleep in that chair down there longer than I can sleep in this bed. And once I am out of here, you will be able to sleep too.” It didn’t take him long to find his robe.

I grabbed an Ativan on the way out.

I don’t know what happened to that particular sleeping pill. The night before, I slept six whole hours before I woke up. I might start out on the couch tonight, I don’t know.

Last night - before the sleeping snafu - was awesomely fun! (Don’t you love the way I make up my own adjectives and adverbs?) Denny and Leenie came over with a movie and Dan fed them with some basic grub. The movie was “Enchanted” and we all laughed our collective tushies off. It was so great to have a “Normal Night.” Not that I even know what normal is, but it was grand. The other McNabb Couple was sure that all of us would love this movie and they were right on the button. The show starts out as a cartoon in the 1940’s manner of girl finds Prince and lives happily ever after. And of course,  this story has a . . .yup, you guessed it, Beautifully-Ugly Step-Queen that will loose her place to girl as she becomes Princess. (The King is dead, not-so-long live the king.) Said Queen pushed Said Girl down the well and she ended up in real time Manhattan where she promply turned from cartoon princess(-to-be) to real girl in a really fancy wedding gown. Who would ever find her there right? How would she ever adapt from the fairytale life to cell phones and television? Of course in the end she finds a new way to live and a new kind of Prince Charming. The old evil queen of the witches did the girl a favor after all.

As the basic storyline of that movie came to me, so did the hidden message it carries. Ya, they all have a message. You just have to look behind the curtain where the man is manipulating the machine… (“Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.…”) -

HEY! Pay attention to this: God has this fantastical way of taking what the devil has devised as punishment and payback and turning it into a fairytale. The only one that Lucifer hates more than you and me,  is God. The punishment he is divvying up is not so much yours as it is Gods. The devil wants to take away everything that God loves - including YOU and ME.  What that idiotic old demon has never figured out is that God is way smarter than him. God may have given all creation the gift of free will, but He kept for Himself the ability to be one step ahead of the world. Maybe the pain you are experiencing now is better than what it would have been had God not intervened already on your behalf. Maybe God is not done intervening on your behalf. Maybe the lesson God is laying out with Lucifer’s blunders is not even for you. Maybe you are the example for someone else. And as the lesson drags out farther than you want it, and you have to fight not to say, “HEY, WHAT’S THE DEAL?” maybe all that whining is covering up your answer. Maybe God is whispering in your ear, “Wait.”

Over the past seven plus years, first with Fibromyalgia and now with Cancer, I have been prayed over more times that I can count. Only one time was I given an answer that I could relate to. (I think I told this story once before, way back in the summer, but I am going to relate it again.) I went forward in a church that we had only visited a few times. Previously, I had been prayed over and not healed promptly so many times that I had a bit of a temper tantrum with God and I told myself I wasn’t going through that again. But for some reason, this day I was compelled to walk to the alter for prayer. The woman that was waiting for me there didn’t know me or my story. I told her I had Fibromyalgia. She didn’t know what that was. However, as she laid her hands on me and started to pray in the spirit, I felt something different. Then she stopped and looked me in the eye and said, (something like) “God knows your in pain, He hears your tears. But He is using this for something else. He said to wait.” I walked away that time thinking, “hmmm, maybe.”

Wait.

Hold on to God’s hand and wait.

That is where I am right now. Sitting with God in the waiting room, holding hands and kicking my feet. It’s going to be all right.  I’m gonna hold on to God’s hand and wait.