www.cancermonster.net

9:00p

What a day! I just got in the door.

My brother Mike called me on the way home from Kelli’s house. “I just had to check on you. I am waiting for tonight’s post.” hahhaha “You don’t have to write if you don’t feel like it. It’s midnight here. I will just check again in the morning. I have my computer open to your page.” Mike is a construction man, a fisherman, and a he-man. He was never a geek. He might have beat up a few in his day, but no one ever called him one, not even behind his back. I think this is the first time he has ever been hooked on anything computer. It tickles me.

My beautiful daughter and her beau Tim made a fantastic dinner tonight. I was able to meet Tim’s mother and her boyfriend as well as see the new place. Very nice! Both! Kel is doing so well. It was nice to sit across from her (at her own table) and chat as adults. It’s been a long time coming. I am happy to have had this evening with her.

I can’t wait to sit down at the table of my other three kids when they are adults. I have plans. I want many grandchildren. Many. I have plans.

The afternoon before that was HOT! I have been down on the coast for three and a half months where there is always a cool breeze. I was melting here in the city today as I completed the errands I had been putting off since Monday. One thing I completed was to take a load from the motorhome to the storage unit. Turns out we need even less of the stuff we once thought was essential.

I talked all day on the phone it seems. Both sisters, one brother, my sister-in-law, and mom. And Dan several times. And my kids.

I had to pick up some new medicine while I was out. I was a bit nauseated yesterday afternoon. I can’t say for sure that it was the radiation that did it. It is really too soon for a physical reaction. But just in case, I now have some Compazine to take if it comes around again. I am not sure how I feel to tell you the truth. And I don’t know if what I am feeling is the CancerMonster’s fault or if I should just chalk it up to the old FibroCreature having a hissy of it’s own. I am just a tad off kilter.

But I have been a tad off kilter all my life. So how do I tell?

Going backwards through my day has brought me to the Center. I don’t know how I managed it, but I can’t think of another place where I could be treated as well as I have been by this group. When I walked in, I was greeted with a kindness that I had given up on. A compassion that made me cry with relief once again. Tomorrow will be two months since I was told that I had cancer. Two months doesn’t seem like a long time. But when in a fight for your life, who wants to sit around for two months waiting to begin defending yourself. So when I am offered an armory to draw from by people with their arms open wide ready to give a hug, or a hand, I am blown away.

I am literally blown away. Today, instead of telling myself jokes to pass the time on the table, I thanked God for touching each and every member of the team who in turn, has touched me too deeply for adequate words to explain. These people have restored my faith in humanity. That may sound a bit dramatic, but if you have been following this story you know where I am coming from. First, today I was told there may be help with my expenses. Then I was hugged tightly as I cried. Then I was fussed over by technicians who were doing what ever they could to make me more comfortable on the table. Extra padding and cushions and warm blankets. No more, lions or tigers, or bears in my way. I saw my perky and wonderful nurse who was concerned about my nausea. On my way out I got smiles and See-you-tomorrow‘s that I believed were sincere.

This shouldn’t be a surprise! This should be the norm, not an exception. Granted, I don’t know how patients are treated in other centers — THEY WOULDN’T LET ME IN TO FIND OUT!

Here-in lies the rub. I am not being treated as less than important because I don’t have health insurance. I am one of the club members here and I am blown away.

I am blown away.