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The doctors told me that Teresa does have a bacterial infection that has gotten into her blood stream and caused pneumonia.  The antibiotics are working and she has improved since yesterday.  In a few hours they are going to see if they can take her off the ventilator and let her breath on her own.  I have let them know that if she goes into respiratory arrest that I don’t want them to help her breath again.  If they take her off it and she’s supposed to breath on her own and for some reason she can’t, it’s meant to be.  That is what Teresa would want.

So she could pull through this and come home.  I have to tell you that I’m overwhelmed and feeling quite alone.  My mind is racing from one thing to another.  The Oncologist are talking and this afternoon will help us decide if Teresa should continue any treatment for the cancer.  Children’s hospital is having someone come talk to me about talking to the children.  I need to finish a tile job for my landlord (who are great!) .  I need to move a week from Saturday, and even with that I can’t take Teresa home to our house because of the stairs.   If things don’t go well who do I call for funeral arrangements, who do I pay for that too?  This is to much and maybe I’m writing this to let those know who think I failed Teresa know that I’m tired too and I’ve done what I can for her.  All the decisions I’ve made is in the best interest of her and my children.  I don’t know what else I could have done, I’ve done my best, I guess it wasn’t good enough.

Daniel